Oh Lordy, What Ever Happened to the 1940s?

Classes need to start. I DON’T WANT THEM TO. But they need to.

These past 3 weeks have been as different as can be from each other. It began with a surreal week as an orientation leader molding new minds (haha) to the world of Paris. I made friends and felt like this semester was going to be amazing. The second week I went to London, had a fine time, met some awesome people, and realized that I chose the right place to study abroad as life would have been completely different if I had chosen London as the original plan had been (to this day I still can’t remember what made the idea of Paris click so passionately that day at the New Student Seminar other than it was an escape… but London could’ve been just as much…). And the last week, as in now, I have done what feels like nothing.

Wasn’t doing nothing supposed to be a nice change of pace? Yes and no. For one, it has been incredible finally being able to watch the old movies that have been sitting on my night table for the past month. I have fallen in love with Fred Astaire, Audrey Hepburn, and Ginger Rogers repeatedly this week and can’t believe I have lived this much of my life without knowing them… but more on that later. I finally did the much-put-off cleaning that needed to be done. I’ve basically devoured all the seasons of How I Met Your Mother, and it won’t take me much longer to finish it for good. I went to my first “bouncing around” ballet class and was pleased and touched that the teacher not only remembered me, but did so enthusiastically. And I also had a fun time grocery shopping on rue Montorgueil, where a fruit vendor actually recognized me and we had a short conversation. I’m beginning to see that what I had read about the 3rd arrondissement being small and people getting to know each other is actually true. The same thing happened to me at the butcher’s shop, as well, as I was picking up my weekly dose of goose rillettes.

But that about tops my human interactions for the week outside of a couple short meetings at NYU I went to on Monday and Thursday, and the awkward cow-herding of a medical visit to verify my visa on Tuesday. I miss people. Without reasons to go to NYU, I find myself stuck in my cozy apartment watching endless TV episodes instead of hanging around and making plans with everyone there. But there is no way I can make myself go to school for no reason. I can’t do it. So I’ve been alone a lot and feeling slightly like the world is passing me by. And in some ways it is. I can’t tell whether I should be more or less disappointed in myself for being this lazy the week before classes start. After all, this time in the semester last year, I was hopping all around Paris. But I’m in a different place now. And that place just makes me feel and act like an old lady, I guess.

Besides my whining, these 3 weeks have been incredible to say the least. Some of my favorite moments in my time here have occurred in these past 3 weeks. And just as I suspected, my time in Syracuse feels like it never happened. There’s a weird blur of time between Christmas and right after New Years that felt like a dream. I feel like I’ve always been here and yet so much keeps changing. I need classes to start but I’m scared of what this next shift is going to bring. The place I’ve been in for the past 3 weeks, regardless of how much in fantasy it is in, has been ideal. I don’t want what I have to go away. But the layer of fat that I’m growing thanks to these lazy days sitting at my table eating every piece of cracker and cheese in sight is starting to concern me. I suppose I need that routine back again, even if it does involve homework. And for all I know, it could be better than now.

Watch: 3 weeks from now, these 3 weeks will seem like a dream. The circle of life.